Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ultimate Celebrity-Monkey Knife Fighting

Given the horde of new reality television shows spawned as the unholy children of Network Television to do battle with the writer's strike, I thought I might offer my own humble suggestion for a reality television show that I personally would like to see.

It's called "Ultimate Celebrity-Monkey Knife Fighting"

I'm thinking a cross between Ultimate Fighting Championship, Dancing with the Stars and the time honored entertainment tradition of Monkey Knife Fights.

We follow the story of B-list celebrities as they go through the rigors of training with bona fide South China Sea pirates. Hopefully, we learn more about them (the celebrities and the pirates) as they learn more about themselves.

We also follow the story of the monkeys, who are fed only spontaneously and encouraged to stab things with knifes. Hopefully, we learn more about how to turn innocent monkeys into killer monkeys.

We then get to watch as B-list celebrities and monkeys square off in a no-holds-barred fight to the death featuring large deadly-looking knives.

There will also be a panel of monkey judges who will award style points and decide a posthumous winner in the event that both the monkey and the celebrity become unconscious from severe blood loss.

Also, sports betting will be encouraged for the studio audience. I'm also thinking of developing a home game to play along with the show, possibly a drinking game. More on that later. And finally, the whole show will be tied together by the antics of a handsome and witty host (me). I may also add a color commentator as well just to spice up the in-fight commentary.

So, assuming the major networks start pounding down my door to pick up this gem of a show (and I think that's a fair assumption to make) I shall start contacting B-list celebrities for the fight. If you have any recommendations on celebrities you would like to see on "Ultimate Celebrity-Monkey Knife Fighting," or UCMKF for short, please leave a comment in the comment section and I will see if they are available for the show.