Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday's Drivel

Here are some random incoherent thoughts for you to ponder this Friday:

(1) Aren't you glad, Chicagoland, that it's spring? I mean, yeah the temperature has been in the 30's several times this week and, yeah, it snowed this week too so, yeah, it probably still feels like winter. But it's nice to know that, for all that, it's technically spring. Which is comforting. Right? No?

(2) In related news, Global Warming is a lie. I have no evidence to back that up (and yeah, I may have written an earlier blog entry convinced that it probably wasn't a lie), but Blogs are all about making spurious assertions with no supporting evidence, so bite it.

(3) Some good news on a personal front: since the weather has become my favorite topic of conversation, I have been named an honorary 65 year old man by the "Cultural Revolution for Adult Babies" (C.R.A.B). Once the weather is replaced with ailments, I can upgrade to a higher age bracket.

(4) I would like to abolish the "-gate" suffix from our political lexicon (e.g: travel-gate, Bosnia-gate, etc.).

(5) I've decided I want to quit my job to devote my life to developing a language translation site. This site will take normal English sentences and translate them into fake Spanish (and eventually other languages) by replacing "the" with "el" and by adding "o"s and "e"s on to the end of words. The intention is to help Americans learn the proper way to patronize other cultures by faking their languages.

That's all for today, kiddies. Happy Friday and smooches.

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