Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Et Tu, Billy?

Hello my precious lovelies,

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything yet this week. Two reasons for that: first, I'm a lazy asshole. Second; I'm a lazy asshole.

Joe Janes already beat me to this today on his blog, but I wanted to share with you anyway. This is show and tell gone horribly horribly wrong. Apparently, a gang of miscreant third graders in Georgia were plotting to assassinate their teacher.

Kids just do the darnedest things, don't they?

Of course, the initial impulse is to bemoan the state of America's youth. "What's wrong with society that nine little kids think it's okay to attack their teacher? I mean, what kind of world do we live in? I'll tell you right now, it's that damned television box-machine or vidiot games that're turning their little brains to mush. Oh God, where were the parents?!"

I prefer to think of it differently.

I mean, imagine the amount of energy and effort it takes to coordinate something like that. They had to figure out what kind of weapons and restraining devices (toy handcuffs) they had at their disposals, find a method of acquiring them without tipping off their parents, work the logistics of pooling their resources and then coordinating the strike. These are third graders we're talking about. From Georgia no less. Georgia!

They're not little criminals in the making. That's selling short the youth of America. These are little evil geniuses, each one probably destined to grow up and become Bond villains, arch-nemeses to superheros or lawyers.

Or maybe they're just advanced readers. Maybe they've read Lord of the Flies or Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and decided that, in order to truly wrap their little third grade minds around the books, they needed to act them out. Maybe we're looking at nine little kids with an intense, if somewhat psychotic, interest in learning.

Either way, I say it's a sign of burgeoning ingenuity and creativity (albeit evil ingenuity and evil creativity) in our youth. Hurrah for you, society.

That being said, we should probably start arming teachers.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

in jr. high a certain posse of peeps that i may or may not have been associated with circulated a top ten 'ways to off the teacher' list and all we/they may or may not have gotten was DETENTION.