Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New Office

Happy Tuesday to you from the new Nat Topping Ltd. World Headquarters in Chicago's fashionable West Loop. The new digs are spacious, airy and smell of some type of wood, probably from all of the frantic construction work over the weekend to get the new office ready for my impending arrival.

My personal corner of the office is a small cubicle pretty much right in the middle of "the floor." I could have had the main corner office looking out over downtown Chicago but, no, I decided that I would much rather work among the rabble, the so-called little people.

This morning I decided not to drive my expensive Aston Martin to the new office, leaving it parked on the street out in front of my chic "studio apartment," next to the rotting Toyota Camrys of my neighbors (why one would own such scrap-traps when one could purchase a shiny new silver Aston Martin will forever be beyond my comprehension). No, today I opted to walk among the unwashed masses to the Halsted street bus and, wedging myself in between the bus window and what I can only describe as a 'cat lady,' relished the 40 minute ride to work.

From the bus stop, it is a seven minute walk to the new offices. I might have hailed one of those cabbies I see driving around everywhere to ferry me along the rest of my journey. Certainly under normal circumstances I might have my on-call driver take me in my expensive limo. But standing there on the corner, soaking in the atmosphere of the 40 degree weather, the wind and an overcast reminiscent of November, I decided that it would be the perfect day for a quick stroll.

And so I relished my brief little jaunt outside, passing beneath the elevated train (which I hear is quite popular amongst the masses), past meat markets and wholesale produce warehouses and over puddles of stagnant filthy water until finally, I reached my destination: my new office!

Let me share a management technique with you that I have picked up over the years: every once in a while, as evidenced by today's journey, I like to pretend as though I am not the affluent head of a company. Instead, I like to pretend that I am a young twenty-something man who is forced to work a day job - one that borders on tediousness- as a means of getting to know those people who I would hope to rule. In doing so, I feel that I remain grounded and gain an appreciation for why the average work-a-day Joe complains so much.

At any rate, after arriving and getting a tour of the new facilities from "my boss" - this is a little game I like to play with one of the ranked employees here where I pretend that he is my boss for the day and that these are the offices of another company which I call Network Innovations - I settled down to my cubicle desk, unpacked my crate of belongings (the new pool table has yet to arrive) and now here I sit, typing this communique to you, my faithful readership.

I wonder what the rabble will do for lunch today?


GW said...

Sir Topping, indeed may I inquire, when ruling the masses do you prefer to behold a sceptor of wealth, or a sceptor of power? Which sceptor is of your choosing, or am I missing a third option? I am led to believe you behold a sceptor of wealth only, for if you had at the moment of your encounter with the "cat lady", you could have whapped her with the power sceptor and turned her into a gleaming pile of gold. Your thoughts?

Unknown said...


For the longest time, I alternated between a sceptor of wealth and a sceptor of power. I found this arrangement to be undesirable, as I have always loathed having to choose between the two, so I had created for me a sceptor of both wealth and power.

In the end, I found the "cat lady" to be a pleasant though thoroughly homely woman and, in an act of pity, gave her a few ducats upon my departure from the bus.

I hope this helps,