I have a confession to make: this is not my first blog.
I know, you're shocked. But it's true.
We at RVD Chicago have created a blog for ourselves and I've added myself on as one of the contributors. While I was doing that, I found my old long-since-forgotten blog: "Nat's Page of Self Worship and Adoration."
You see, two years ago my sister spent a few semesters of her college experience in France. She created a blog to document her experiences. The link to it appears under the links section of the column to your left under my sister's blog.
At the time, being ignorant of the ways of blog, I believed that I needed to be a member of the blogosphere in order to leave nasty comments in my sister's comment sections. I also believed that I needed to bribe the Google-gnomes before they would let me have one. Of course, I now know this to be untrue.
The part about the comments, that is. I still suspect that Google-gnomes exist.
I think I posted a total of five things over the course of a month and a half before I gave up on the venture. Why is it that I'm able to write quasi consistently in a blog now as opposed to two years ago? No idea. Maybe it's because I now know people who blog every day so I have something of an incentive to blog. Maybe it's because I feel like I need somewhere to plug my shows and stuff. Maybe I was doing it for the wrong reasons before (leaving nasty comments in my sister's comment sections) whereas now I'm doing it for the right reasons (talking about Space Sex and shopping for women's underwear). Who knows?
Of the five posts I wrote, I only really liked one. In lieu of writing anything new today, I'm just going to post it now. Enjoy:
"A Page From My Boss' Daily Planner:
7:00 Wake up after night of drinking and attempting to score with woman at end of bar. Shower and breakfast. Coiffe hair.
8:00 Ride train to work. Scratch self discretely in back of car. Give girl who caught me the "what the hell are you looking at" look.
8:30 Come in to work. Check ebay for deals on comic books.
9:00 Yell at coworker. (note to self, appologize later but not sincerely)
9:15 Take break. Breathing excercises.
9:45 Return to work, make several personal phone calls that involve my credit card number.
11:15 Cat nap.
11:30 Lunch. Hummus and pulled BBQ pork. Wash down with alcoholic beverage in my Nalgene bottle.
1:00 Return to work. Yell at coworker, then slam imaginary door to my cubicle.
3:00 Meet with department head to discuss poor performance of department. Blame general laziness of coworkers. Outline five-point plan to punish peons.
3:15 Admire that bit of alliteration just now.
3:30 Fake sick, head home early. Put department in hands of coworker who I yelled at earlier to make up for everything (note to self, berate coworker when I return tomorrow on how poorly they managed the department).
3:45 Train home.