Friday, August 29, 2008

Ask Richard Simmons' Dalmatians Will Be There 'Till the Open Bar Closes

For those of you who haven't read, evidently Richard Simmons' Dalmatian dogs are like oracles who impart wisdom on those seeking to make big life decisions and need solid advice that they can trust. With that in mind, I've created a feature on Clever Title called...


This week's request comes from last week's comment box. Anonymous writes:

"Dear Richard Simmons' Dalmatians,

This wedding season I've noticed there is a popular trend among couples-to-be creating a website of themselves for invited guests, their family and friends. Is this couple-site thing exclusively married people specific or can I start one with my boyfriend? Could I make a website including myself and someone I want to be my boyfriend? Would that work? What do you think? Also, I like presents a lot and so would having a gift registry on my boyfriend and my site be acceptable or just tacky?
Thank you tastemakers!


"Dear Anonymous,

Good lord, you ask a lot of questions.

Thing about the Internet is you can put whatever the hell you want up on the site and nobody can say anything. Nat gets away with that crap all the time here. So, as far as we're concerned, knock yourself out. The wannabe boyfriend thing is a little creepy but so is Dicky's website (we call him Dicky).

If you put up a fake gift registry, are you going to get free stuff from people? Doubt it. People like cake and open bars, and that's why we all go to weddings. And you can't go to a wedding without giving the Excuses a consolation gift. We say if you want free shit, do what everyone else does: get married, throw a party, and then five years and two children later you can break it off and start all over again. Repeat until necessary amount of free shit has been accumulated.

It's a time honored tradition, babe.

Fuck yeah,

-Richard Simmons' Dalmatians."

Questions? Concerns? Leave them in the comment box! Who knows, you may see your comment next time on Ask Richard Simmons' Dalmatians.

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