Friday, August 8, 2008

Ask Richard Simmons' Dalmatians Lets a Little Kink In.

For those of you who haven't read, evidently Richard Simmons' Dalmatian dogs are like oracles, who impart wisdom on those seeking to make big life decisions and need solid advice that they can trust. With that in mind, I've created a feature on Clever Title called...


This week's request comes from last week's comment box. Pat Sinclair of Omaha, NE writes:

"Dear Dalmatians,

I have a friend who praises pornography and every afternoon explains his fascination of this perversion. His incessant habit of informing his peers of his afternoon plans to dive into the dark side of the world wide web makes others around him feel uncomfortable, including myself. How can I explain this to him without hurting his feelings?

-Pat Sinclair of Omaha, NE"

"Dear Pat Sinclair,

Sorry, do we not live in America? Is this Communist Russia or something?

Look, the naked human body is natural and beautiful. Who wouldn't want to watch streaming video of someone filming themselves while taking a poo on a beautiful, natural naked body? And it's only natural to talk about how awesome that is and to share the good word with your friends.

There's no better way to spend an afternoon than talking about that shit.

You could man up and ask your friend to stop talking about it, but really you're in the wrong here, so our advice to you is get over it and just let a little kink into your life.

Just let a little kink in.

Fuck yeah,

-Richard Simmons' Dalmatians."

If you have a question for Richard Simmons' Dalmatians, please leave it in the comment box. If you're lucky, maybe we'll pick yours for the next installment of Ask Richard Simmons' Dalmatians.

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