Letters of Redress

Letter The First

TO:
A Gentleman Named Brian Who Evidently Lives One Floor Above Me
-and-
His Douche bag 'Brah' Friend Who Was Pounding On Brian's Door At Midnight Last Night Shouting 'BRIAN!' At The Top Of His Lungs
The Back Stairwell of 2908 and 2910 N. Mildred
Chicago IL

Dear Sirs,

I hate you.

Sincerely yours,

Nathaniel B. Topping

P.S. Fuck you.

Letter The Second

TO:
The Previously Mentioned Brian
-and-
The Previously Mentioned Douche bag 'Brah,' With Whom 'Brian' Engaged in a Shouting Match of "FUCK YOUs" at 1:30 AM This Very Morning
The Back Alley Behind 2908 and 2910 N. Mildred
Chicago, IL

Dear Sirs,

I hate you.

Sincerely yours,

Nathaniel B. Topping

P.S. Fuck you.

Letter the Third

TO:
Chicago Transit Authority
567 W Lake St
Chicago, IL 60661

Dear Chicago Transit Authority,

Please explain to me why I can take a bus which departs my nearest bus stop 10 minutes earlier than my normal bus, and yet arrive later than normal at my desired destination?

I await your inconsistently prompt reply.

Sincerely yours,

Nathaniel B Topping

P.S. Fuck you.

That feels better.