Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Burn Her

Just in time for the Halloween season comes an article from the Detroit Free Press, one of my home town newspapers. I share this because it is hilarious to me.

"A day after asking a teacher if she was a witch or believed in witchcraft — following a history lesson on early-America’s Salem witch trials — an adult-education student tossed a liquid on a teacher and then pulled out a cigarette lighter, police said."

I'm not completely sure what to say about that. There's so much delicous absurdity in just that one little paragraph that I don't know where to start. I mean I've read some bad plays in my time but I've never actually tried lighting the teacher on file.

Hats off to you, adult-education person.

I wonder what her answer was to the question "Are you a witch or do you believe in witchcraft?" The article doesn't tell you that, does it?


Crump said...

Oh, it's in there - "The teacher told Najor “she did not believe in witchcraft” on the day before he splashed her with liquid, apparently water, from a Gatorade bottle, Hall said today."

also "Ferndale police Lt. William Wilson said Najor told officers he was trying to purify the teacher with holy water and with flame from his lighter... The teacher and security officer then found Najor smoking in his car, and when confronted “he went at her with the cigarette” as if trying to burn the teacher"

Unknown said...

They updated that article since I posted this. When I first saw it, it was like a three paragraph article.

I'm glad they updated it, though, as this now makes much less sense.

When asked if I believe in witchcraft, should I say Yes or No?

Joe Janes said...

Clearly, Nat, if you say "no," you are a witch because a witch would lie. And, if you say "yes," well, you just admitted to your witchcrafty ways.