Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Today We Are Like Children

I remember the day that Mr Kite, the totally awesome British PE teacher who was the one male teacher at our grade school, took all the boys from my class aside and explained to us in a very proper English way that we as a group needed to revisit our bathroom practices. He suggested practicing aim and accuracy at home by using Cheerios. Given that we were all little kids it was probably an approriate and important conversation to have.

Today, we at the office had pretty much the same conversation.

Except, of course, instead of being little kids we are all grown ups.

Yesterday, "the boys" of the office received a meeting invite where no topic was mentioned but where it stated explicitly that "attendance is mandatory." The invite immediately invited speculation on what could possibly necessitate a meeting of all the men in the office. Was there some sort of harrassment something or other? Beer pong tournament?

The curiosity was killing us. So when our boss Jim came around to our group to do his daily check in one of my coworkers asked if this was about the bathroom.

Yes.

A couple of months ago, we received a company wide email imploring people to conduct themselves properly in the restrooms in regards to aim and general cleanliness. Evidently, this was not enough emphasis as today at 11:00 this morning we gentlemen all had to meet in the big conference room (named "The Taj" which is a strange name for a place to conduct business because the Taj Mahal is essentially a giant tomb so why you would want to name your conference room after a giant tomb is beyond me but hey what do I know?) and have a quick 10 minute chat.

That chat included discussions of respect and once again involved suggestions of Cheerio usage as a means of practice.

So I guess I'm going to have to stop peeing on everything.

4 comments:

Crump said...

What?! The seriously suggested the Cheerio thing? And I thought I was getting treated like a stupid child at my workplace. You sir take the cake. Just don't eat it in the bathroom. I hear that place is nasty.

Mademoiselle Nessa said...

Ahahaha, fabulous. You know, Gib and I were just talking about Mr. Kite the other day. I wonder if his British ears are burning.

Joe Janes said...

I use the Cheerio method at home, but I fill the bowl with them. And then I dream of peeing milk.

GW said...

By the urinals in the men's bathroom at my work, someone or several someones make it common practice to smear their boogers next to said urinals. Yes, these are the neuroscientists and geneticists of our world. Their primary focus is curing the diseases that afflict the world at large. Their secondary focus is studying the effects of their own dried mucous on cold bathroom tiles.