Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'd Call This a "Pet Peeve" But I Hate Words Like "Pet Peeve"

Spending my free time today trying to push out a scene for tonight's Robot vs Dinosaur writer's meeting (another show coming up, I'll restart the plugfest soon). But, having posted the lamest picture of a unicorn ever yesterday, I feel I owe you faithful readers something at least. So here goes.

Commence bitching:

In the city of Chicago every car that parks on the street is supposed to have a city sticker, which one can get from the city for a "small" fee. If you live in certain areas of the city you may also need a residential parking permit, which will allow you to park in the higher traffic areas without being ticketed and is also available for a "small fee."

The point of all this is nominally to prevent people who don't live in my neighborhood from parking in my neighborhood overnight while I have to park four hours away and walk. The real point would be, as always, to make money for the city so that they can spend it on Olympic bids and bribes.

Well every year I go through the hoops of standing in line and bringing the right documents (car registration, lease, etc.) and writing a check to the city, and I still have to park four hours away and walk.

"Why Nat, that is unjust!" you cry in disgust, "How is such a monstrous thing possible?"

I'll tell you why. It's because people don't know how to parallel park on the freaking street. People leave themselves huge gaps in front and behind them - gaps that are just large enough to make you think you can park there, but just small enough to keep you from parking there.

If people actually took the time to actually learn how to parallel park, instead of pleading with your driving instructor not to fail you when you're fifteen or whatever, then people would know how much space they need to leave themselves and then there would be more space for people to park.

This is why I would like to propose that the city make a parallel parking test mandatory for anyone trying to get a neighborhood permit. They can charge money for this, people will have to learn how to park, everyone's happy.

Am I alone, here? Hello!

Okay, end bitching. Go about your day.


Crump said...

I fully agree with this bitching. That is why in most cases I will actually get out of my car and make sure I am as close as possible to the car in front or back of me (still allowing some room so I can get out of the space of course) before I turn the car off.

Chris Othic said...

I agree. This is a great idea and I don't even own a car.

Geoff, I would suggest instead of wasting your time getting out of your car, realizing that you parked too far away from the car in front of or behind you like a little girl, then getting back in your car and attempting to pull forward/backward the correct amount, why don't you just tap the bumper of the car in front of or behind you, then back off a bit? They're called bumpers for a reason.

And did you know that it you do an 87 point parallel park, you can get into a space that only has about 4 inches on either side of it and you only have to bump the car in front of or behind you 86 times. I've done it.