Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Roman Polanski – OUTRAGE!!!

Hollywood is freaking out, and they should be. That’s because famed Director (and admitted statutory rapist) Roman Polanski has been arrested for a crime (which he admitted to committing) back in 1977!

1977! That’s almost, like, thirty two years ago or something!

So of course, everyone in Hollywood is up in arms because this brilliant (admitted statutory rapist and druggist of thirteen year old girls) brilliant man (rapist) is being (lawfully) detained (in accordance with an international arrest warrant from which Polanski has been hiding for thirty two years) in Switzerland! The man just wanted to pick up his lifetime achievement award!

That would be a lifetime of achievement in film, mind you, and not statutory rape.

Of course Hollywood should have a right to be upset. People, I ask you: what is the point of being insanely wealthy and famous if you can’t get away with blatant criminal acts?

These people live their lives in the endless pursuit of fame, popularity, and money. This, as you can imagine, is exhausting, soul crushing work, and the put themselves through this why? For the sake of entertaining the public.

The least we can do for these selfless pitiable martyrs would be to let them hump, drug, kill, cheat and harass whomever they like whenever or wherever they choose.

Hollywood has a long history of getting away with shit, dating back to 1942 when Erol Flyn may or may not have slept with two under aged girls – TWO, Polanski, you’re slacking! And Flyn got off – er… was cleared of all charges. Matthew Broderick killed two Irish ladies while he and his BMW were vacationing in the wrong lane on the highway; he paid $175 for reckless driving! Nicolas Cage – I’m not aware of anything specific but I have a gut feeling he’s screwed at least ONE thing he shouldn’t have.

And the worse thing about it all is the crime happened like decades ago! Crime shouldn’t count after, like, ten years. Jesus, thirteen year old girl whose life was inexorably ruined at such a tender age, let it GO already!

Damn it, people from 1977 who are still pissed about this, how are these poor (insanely wealthy) people supposed to (decadently and hedonistically) live their lives with you constantly demanding justice?! Don’t you understand?! He made great movies!

LAY OFF, I SAY!! LET THE GENIUS (statutory rapist) BE!!

1 comment:

GW said...

Maybe we could catch Bin Laden by offering him some kind of lifetime achievement award. He's certainly made enough films, although I find his later work lacks the wit and freshness of his earlier pieces. Although I am glad he's working with Tony Roberts again.