Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Poem On The Circumstances Surrounding Balloon Boy, Composed Nearly One Week After the Events Herein Described

Holy shit, there's a kid in that balloon! Holy shit!
Holy shit! I hope he's okay!

Do you think he's going to be okay?
I hope so; God his parents must be freaking out!
What are the chances: a kid stuck in a balloon like that?
Holy shit, I hope he's okay!

That kid must be shitting his kid pants right now
Flying through the air like that
I hope he doesn't crash
Holy shit, I hope he's okay!

Holy shit! There's nobody in that balloon! Holy shit!
Holy shit! I hope he didn't fall!

Flying around in the air like that?
I'd probably jump. Wouldn't you? End it all right there?
I hope he didn't get knocked off by the wind.
Holy shit, I hope he's okay!

Shit!

Wait, he was at home the whole time?
Wait, his parents are reality TV stars?
Wait, there's not enough gas in that balloon to carry a child that size?
Wait, his name's what? What kind of a stupid name is Falcon?
(Who names their kid 'Falcon?')
Wait, he said what on Larry King?

Motherfucker.

I hope those parents eat shit and die.
Holy shit. What a waste of time.

~fin~

5 comments:

Mademoiselle Nessa said...

have i told you lately that i love you?

Chris Othic said...

Let me rewrite this stanza for you:

Wait, he was at home the whole time?
Wait, his parents are reality TV stars?
Wait, there's not enough gas in that balloon to carry a child that size?
Wait, his name's what? What kind of a stupid name is Falcon?
(I'd puke on TV (twice!) if my parent's named me 'Falcon')
Wait, he said what on Larry King?

casey said...

because... well... why not?
http://www.theinsomniaczone.com/2009/10/fresh-prince-of-air-balloon-boys-theme.html

Nat Topping said...

That's funny. Well played, Facebook!

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