Thursday, December 10, 2009

Bootgate

Yesterday, Clever Title posted what in hindsight can be termed a “crack-pot theory” written by Clever Title’s founding (and only) blogger. The theory suggested that the relatively warm weather that Chicago temporarily experienced yesterday morning was the result of the aforementioned blogger wearing his boots and that the warm weather would continue if a new pair of boots was not purchased immediately, thus ruining the prospects for a conventional snowy winter.

Obviously, yesterday
afternoon’s snow storm and today’s nine-degree weather have cast some doubt on the validity of those assertions put forth in the previous blog post.

In addition, though, it has come to this blog’s attention that certain emails have been leaked to the public (courtesy of the notorious Internet neerdowell known only as Hacker Johnny) detailing the nature of our founding blogger’s research. In the interest of transparency, Clever Title is posting the series of emails below:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Nat Topping
To: Clever Title
Subject: RE: Research for Boot Related Temperature Changes
Date: Wed Dec 9 10:18:54 2009

Dear All
Here's the latest draft of BD1. As you can see from the attached, the data from last year doesn’t really support our working assumptions – apparently last year it did in fact snow on a couple of occasions where I was wearing my boots. I have a fix for this; we should leave that part out in the post as that might cast the research from the last two days in a negative light. Besides, I’d really like new boots and I want someone else to pay for them.
Cheers
Nat


From: Clever Title
To: Nat Topping
Subject: RE: Research for Boot Related Temperature Changes
Date: Wed Dec 9 10:34:12 2009

Nat,
First of all, why are you emailing this? Clever Title is administered by you. You are just emailing yourself incriminating evidence. You think this kind of shit is safe on the internet? It’s not. You’re almost as bad as Tiger Woods. Except that Tiger Woods is a billionaire who plays golf and gets laid all the time – so really in a sense you are worse than Tiger Woods. Regardless, stop emailing yourself.
And second, where is this “Cheers” signoff coming from? It’s pretentious and you’re not English. Stop it.
Sincerely,
-Yourself

**Visit Clever Title at ntopping.blogspot.com. “We won’t disappoint you too much” **


From: Nat Topping
To: Clever Title
Cc: Hacker Johnny
Subject: RE: Research for Boot Related Temperature Changes
Date: Wed Dec 9 10:35:00 2009

Jesus, what the hell is your problem today? I’d think you’d be happy not having to post a stupid picture today. Apparently I was wrong.
Cheers (aka Kiss My Ass)
Nat


From: Clever Title
To: Nat Topping
Cc: Hacker Johnny
Subject: RE: Research for Boot Related Temperature Changes
Date: Wed Dec 9 10:42:57 2009

Who did you just cc?

**Visit Clever Title at ntopping.blogspot.com. “We won’t disappoint you too much” **

------------------------------------------------------------------------

We here at Clever Title would like to disassociate ourselves with Nat Topping. We take our social contract with the public seriously. Unfortunately he’s the only one who ever posts here, so we can’t really do that. And while we would like to say this kind of shenanigan will never happen again, let’s be honest, it probably will. Just know that we’re sorry.

No comments: