Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Would Cry Too, Little Girl

Ah Christmas! This time of year is full of time honored traditions - holiday staples like figgy pudding and mistletoe and drinking too much at your family get together and then telling your family members what you really think of them and then apologizing profusely to them until New Years rolls around and you vow never to let those demons back out, only to repeat it all again next year.

That's what Christmas is all about: forgiveness! Or is that Easter? I get that confused.

One of the great time honored traditions is the Mall Santa. These soldiers of holiday spirit brave long lines, grumpy parents, hopped-up children and poor working conditions to provide the youth of our fair culture with the most traditional of Christmas delusions - the belief that by being good we will be rewarded with material goods.

As a result of this scherade - either caused by the job conditions or because the job conditions appeal only to those who can't find something better to do - Mall Santas often end up, well, like this:

It's the angriest Santa you'll ever see! Maybe it's the constant screaming, the flashing bulbs of the cameras, or the fact that he's now a swine flue ridden flea bag. I don't know. All I know is he looks like he's this close to snapping.

For those of you interested in creepy pictures of children crying on the laps of very sketchy looking Santas, there's a site for you! It's called Sketchy Santas.

Ho ho ho, kiddies.

2 comments:

Mademoiselle Nessa said...

Hahahaha!

Chris Othic said...

"These soldiers of holiday spirit brave long lines, grumpy parents, hopped-up children and poor working conditions to provide the youth of our fair culture with the most traditional of Christmas delusions - the belief that by being good we will be rewarded with material goods."

Someone get Dave Barry on the phone. That is one excellent humorous sentence!

WV: plables - labels at the end of Nat's postings.