Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday: Copenwhore... I mean, Whorepenhagen. Wait, Don't Help Me, I Can Get This

There's nothing quite so enjoyable as the day after a company holiday party. People scrape themselves off their living room floor, splash water on their faces and then show up a few hours late to the office, their vacant bloodshot eyes held open by the grace of caffeine, just looking for a way to get through the work day as quickly as possible.

It's a welcome change from the last couple of days, which have quite frankly sucked donkey balls. Hence yesterday's post, and the lack of posting for most of the week.

Let's see, what have I missed this past week.

NEWS FLASH: Tiger Woods Gets In Car Crash and Now Has Sex With Many Women. Oh no! Will you ludicrously wealthy professional athletes ever learn? People with money are supposed to be better than us poor people.

Oh Tiger. If I actually cared about any of this, I would be so disappointed. But I don't. So I'm not.

NEWS FLASH: Sarah Palin, Maybe Not a Genius? Dude writes a book entitled Going Rogue. Considering that "rogue" is defined as "a dishonest or worthless person" or "an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological variation" by Merriam-Webster, might not be the best use of words. Or, might be perfectly apropos depending on your political leanings.

One thing is certain, though: I won't waste any of my time reading the book. My buddy Mike Bauman already did it for me and pulled any interesting quotes for the general public's perusal. Linky link here.

NEWS FLASH: COPIN' WITH THE GROPIN' IN COPEN...HAGEN... Man, writing headlines must be the most enjoyable job in the world. Consider, for instance, "Gropenhagen Conference."

Basically the Mayor of Copenhagen is sending out postcards asking people not to sleep with prostitutes while they are in town for the COP15 conference, which presumably will be about finding newer and more exciting ways to silence those lunatics who think maybe climate change might not be something that people can really actually control (but I digress).

So prostitutes are now offering a freebie to anyone with one of these postcards. From spokesprostitute Susanne Moller: “This is sheer discrimination. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position as Lord Mayor in using her power to prevent us carrying out our perfectly legal job.”

And now, we will have a brief moment of silence to ruminate on the vast differences between our own little puritanical neck of the woods and the rest of the world.

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Ahhhhh. Time to write some new tags.

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