Drink, God damn you! Drink like there's no tomorrow!
That's right, three people who read this blog, this is your Clever Title yearly reminder to go make an ass out of yourself BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
"Oh, I forgot all about it," you say, "and now I have plans to do laundry and housework."
TO HELL WITH THAT, I say! Wake up, asshole! Laundry and housework can wait! Goddamn it, don't you realize it's the only Tuesday out of the whole year that doesn't suck?! Tomorrow we get ashes on our heads and then we can't eat chocolate until Easter! That's months away! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW DIRE THIS SITUATION IS?!
Come! Follow me! Out into the streets with us! We must drink bourbon straight up! We must follow that up with a plate of red meat dipped in sugar and fried in lard! We must vomit in public! We must flash our breasts at the world! Our hairy, tiny pink nippled man breasts! We must eat doughnuts and collect beads at all cost!
Get the beads!! Here is a picture:
You. NEED. These!
Go! Quick! Before there are no beads left! Do you think there's an infinite supply of beads?! I don't care if they'll just end up being thrown out in a week, or if they end up at the back of a closet, neglected and collecting dust. GET BEADS! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!
We must do all of this two days into the work week! Because tomorrow there can be no fun until Easter!
Drink, you bastards! Drink and be merry while you still can!