Who Brings a Sword to a Basketball Game?

Upon the lot of parking, before the Trojan Court of Basketball.

Gentleman the First:
"I daresay, sirrah, you did strike my wrist as I went for to lay the ball into the goal hoop. That constitutes a foul and I demand satisfaction!"

Gentleman the Second:
"My dear sir, this is a mere game of pick up amongst friends. If you are incapable of letting this go, then I bite my thumb at you, sir!"

Gentleman the First:
"Do you indeed?! Have at you!"

Gentleman the First presently draws his sword.

Gentleman the Second:
"My God! Art thou touched, man? T'is Troy, Michigan in 2010! Whyfor carry you a sword?"

Gentleman the First:
"So that I might swifty dispatch with those who dare wrong me as I make basket!"

Gentleman the Second:
"Someone, swiftly, alert the authorities anon!"

Gentleman the First:
"En guard, you knave!"