La Vida [Redacted Due to Poor Taste]

Wait, Ricky Martin is what? WHAT?

Oh God. I… I can’t believe it. I haven’t been this surprised by a performer’s coming out since Clay Aiken.

I just refuse to believe that this paragon of masculinity…

…is not at all interested in members of the opposite sex.

I can’t believe it. This man has just opened himself up to countless easy jokes. Say what you will about Ricky Martin (not particularly talented, had two “good” songs his whole career provided if by “good” you mean momentarily popular in the 90’s, not really socially relevant anymore so why do we care, etc.) but he’s a brave man.

Man, my gaydar must be broken. Next you’re going to tell me that Mr. Sulu is gay.

Wait, WHAT?!

You just blew… my mind.

(And yes, that was a deliberate use of ellipses meant to invoke the specter of a sexual joke.)