Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Like the Odd Couple but with Knives. And in China.

What can I say. First Canada and now China. I’m on a xenophobic kick I guess…

China is known for being the world’s most populous country. They are known for producing and exporting a host of lead laden products. They are known for their weird combination of Communist totalitarianism and stolen capitalist principles. And food.

They’re maybe not known so much for their patience and tolerance.

Case in point: college student Guo Liwei recently confessed to stabbing his roommate to death for… snoring.

Quoth Guo Liwei: “I told Zhao about it and he became angry. He verbally abused me several times, prompting me to kill him.”

Yes, this is a perfectly logical line of reasoning providing that the next step in your personal escalation ladder above “verbal abuse” is “STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!!!”

"I forgot my custom made anti-snoring mouth guard for Pandas!  Please don't shoot!"

Might I recommend nasal strips or earplugs next time before you reach for your cutlery?

If all of my past roommates had acted like that every time I did something annoying, I would have been dead hundreds of times over. My girlfriend would probably be up in Genghis Khan territory.

Suffice it to say, I do a lot of irritating things. But I digress.

What are we talking about again?

Oh yes: Pandas are adorable.

The end.

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