I don’t want to get too specific because of the sports curse, so I won’t mention the team. Suffice it to say I was wearing a certain ball cap around town the other day. This is a dangerous proposition whenever you wear sports apparel from a foreign land. Particularly when every team you like is a division rival of the city in which you live.
An observation: when your team is winning – when your team is 5-0 – nobody wants to talk about sports. But the moment your team loses one game, suddenly ever random jackass sports fan from off the street wants to come around and talk.
“I got one thing to say to you,” said the random guy on the street to me, “Are you guys ready for the Hawkeyes this weekend? That’s all I’m going to say.” Like me and ‘the guys’ have been in the weight room all week getting ready for the big game.
To this kind of taunting question, I typically say something like, “Boy howdy,” or “Oh yeah, I’m really looking forward to taking in this game of football on Saturday and hope for an honorable display of sportsmanship.” I could also say something like, "Oh! I thought that 'M' stood for 'Mark!'"
But, of course, what I would like to say is, “Do I know you?”
I could refrain from wearing this ball cap. It certainly would make things easier from an ‘avoiding random jackass sports fan on the street’ perspective. I would make less of an obvious target, for sure.
But I don’t. Because I like my team. Even when they lose.
When I moved here 13 years ago I had a Phoenix Suns Starter jacket(given to me by my brother who was living in AZ at the time). I had no affiliation to the Suns other than it was the only coat I had to wear during the winter. It was bright orange.
Needless to say, every homeless guy on my block could see me coming from a mile away, remembered me (or the jacket, more like) and they would act so familiar that I was guilted in to giving them money almost every time.
My point is, I miss that jacket. It made me feel like the mayor.
You know, there's an election for Mayor this year. If you can find that jacket... I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin'
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