Maureen’s Monologue “Enchiladas”
By Nat Topping
First Draft – 05.16.2011
(MAUREEN is seated at a Mexican restaurant across from her sister.)
I don't know how you can sit there with that plate of enchiladas, Deb. I really don't. I mean, they look cold. Aren't they cold? They look rubbery, almost. Like play enchiladas. Like plastic play enchiladas for kids. Here, you want me to get the waitress? Because I'll get the waitress. I know you don't like making a fuss, but I will make that fuss for you. I will fuss it up right now.
(Beat) What do you mean, they're fine? Look at your face. You're clearly not happy; I'm not happy for you. Your enchiladas are making me unhappy. I'll tell you what: my chili relleno is excellent, but if my chili relleno was rubbery and cold and plastic looking, you can bet your ass that I'd have them take it back. I'd ask for a relleno so fresh they'd have to grow the pepper for me. Because I'm paying for it, and I deserve the best pepper I can get, and I guess what I'm saying, Deb, is that you deserve a better goddamn enchilada, and there is no excuse for you to sit there and settle for disgusting, rubber enchiladas. Not today.
Yes, I know I'm crying. I don't care. I just want what's best or you. You're my sister. I'm fussing now. You're embarrassed. I'll shut up.
Do you want another margarita? I'll get the waitress, we'll get you some new enchiladas and a couple of margaritas. Okay?
And end of monologue.
Since this is the Internet, the above is copyright Nat Topping, 2011. Naturally.