Chicago, I know it’s cold out now and that people are more likely to stay indoors, cuddle up next to a fire with their loved ones and sing songs about love and warmth. That said, we’re a big city and he have certain obligations. So naturally, when I see articles like this claiming that we went an entire 24-hours without a reported shooting or murder? We’re not holding up our end of the bargain. In Rio de Janeiro, someone is being brutally murdered in a favela right now as you’re reading this. Why do you think they’re getting the Olympics?
I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
Anyway, what’s going on with the Internet?
I’m glad you asked. Are we doing a Friday Jaunt?
Yes, bold type. We’re doing our first Friday Jaunt Around the Internet of the New Year. Little known fact: one of my resolutions this year was to suck at blogging.
This is different from last year?
Silence. This week’s is entitled: Death, Devotion and Desert
SOPA PIPA. Isn’t that a Mexican desert? That’s Sopapilla and it’s delicious.
I already harangued people (Isn’t that also a desert? You’re thinking meringue) on Wednesday about this, so just another word: I’m just continually shocked at how politicians are a bunch of asshats. Republicans are supposed to be against regulations, and Democrats are supposed to be progressive about this sort of thing. So it only makes sense that, the one time they try to do something in a bipartisan manner, it completely conflicts with both their ideological interests.
And of course by “continually shocked” what I mean is “not surprised remotely.”
Only in America. Latin America. On Fox Latin America, no less.
I find when I’m confronted with mouth breathing bigoted assholes, the answer to most weighted questions they might ask is “the Jews.” Let’s see if it applies to this specific case…
“Christmas Special is coming to Nat Geo… Who do you think responsible (sic) for the death of Jesus?”
Yup. Mouth-breathe away.
The choices the people of Latin America were given were “Pontius Pilate; the High Priests; the Jewish People.” If I were writing these questions, I would add “Nails and a cross” or “a bunch of people that died a long time ago” or “God” since this ‘fulfillment of a prophecy’ thing was God’s idea in the first place. But whatever. I’m just some guy in Chicago. What do I know?
Speaking of Religion: The iDoll. Now available in gold. Check that, bold type. No lifelike doll of Steve Jobs for you. The Chinese toy company slated to start manufacturing them has decided against.
You’ll have to confine your Apple worship to standing in line for the newest iPhone and then ranting and raving about it ad nauseum, or taking a pilgrimage to Budapest, Hungary where apparently there’s a bronze statue of Steve Jobs. It is absolutely terrifying:
|FOUR! FOUR DEAD CHILDREN! AH AH AH!|
Steve Jobs was always known for his creepy alien fingers and lack of thumbs.
And Finally, Etta James Rest In Peace. On a more somber note, one of the great voices in soul has passed away. Here’s a nice article from CNN detailing her life. Here’s the obligatory Youtube club (most likely pirated) for your enjoyment: